If God allows, this is what I want

I have been contemplating these past few days. When I was younger I did not have a set of standards for my ideal man. If I fall, I'll fall. However, as I matured my perspective changed. I would always ask myself, "what type of a person do I really want to spend the rest of my life with?", ``What kind of a father I want for my future kids?" and "What nature of family would I like to have in the future?". Pondering on these questions I used to have, I came up with the set of standards I want to have in a man that I'd like to live with for the rest of my life. If God allows, this is what I want.

First and foremost, I'd like my man to be godly. When I say Godly, it is not just a church-goer, but he himself is the church. I would like him to live according to God’s word. I am not looking for boyfriend material, but I long for husband material who would be our Spiritual Leader at home with our kids. I am looking for a ministry partner who would joyfully serve God with our time, treasure and talents. I’d like him to lead the prayers inside our home. Someone that can pray with me and for me. Someone that would encourage me when my faith is being tested with circumstances. Someone who’s stronghold is in Christ. Someone that has the same heartbeat as mine - Jesus. Someone that has a sure destination to heaven. Red flag for me if he does not value having his own disciple group where he can be accountable and strengthen his faith with God. If his heart is in Christ, I know my man will surely take care of our family according to God’s Word.

Family Oriented. I’d like my man to have a good relationship with his immediate family. I strongly believe that how he is with his family will reflect on how his future family will be. His love for his parents will reflect on how he would like his children to be loved. If my man were filled with so much love from his own family, then I am certain that he will also be able to build a family that is filled with so much love. I stan for those men who are still able to kiss their parents and say “I love you” on the phone after a call. I am a type of person that observes an individual silently on how they communicate with others, their habits and who they spend their time with. I will definitely see if my man respects his parents for his actions and words.

Financially stable. I always believe that it should be finance first before romance. He does not have to be rich or have financial freedom. I just want him to be able to provide for the family. As a Christian, I believe that a man should be the provider, protector and a leader. If a man is still not ready to provide then, I don’t see any reason to build a family YET. If a person really wants to start a family, then he must have thought that it is not a cheap goal and it requires a long term preparation for it. Again, it’s not being rich - it's just being capable.

Street-smart. As per Oxford definition it says, “it is having the experience and knowledge necessary to deal with the potential difficulties or dangers of life in an urban environment.” I’d like to have a man in life that is not a problem-focused but a solution-focused person. When uncertainties arise, he makes sure to find the appropriate solution to it. Life has too many possible problems, but having a street-smart man in life will surely make life easier to deal with. My man has to be resourceful to find the solution in each aspect of life and execute it with the goal of resolving it. Having a book smart man is totally different from having a street smart man. He can have situational awareness which he can assess the environment and people in it. I would consider him to be also creative in solving difficulties in life with the things he only has on his hand.

Values self-care. This is easy to say but hard to achieve. When I say self care that includes his mental, emotional, physical and spiritual well being. Not that I don’t want to be with someone who has a pre-existing illness, but I want to make sure that he does not take for granted his health. No smoking, no drinking alcoholic liquor that would harm his health, no emotional baggage from his past and especially no doubt of believing Christ is his Lord and Savior. For his mental health, I’d like him not to cease learning. Life is a constant lesson. I am a sapiosexual, I value someone’s intelligence to be the most attractive feature of a person. I deeply appreciate a person who never stops learning and sees its worth. Emotional quotient is what I also see as a person's strength if being used properly and understanding how to control it. I’d like him to leave all the baggage he had on the past and live a life knowing that everything has a purpose. I’d like him to be emotionally stable and allow himself to be vulnerable by accepting that he is not that strong enough at times. If given the chance, I’d like my man to be physically healthy. Frankly, I don’t want to be left behind or be a widow. It is my fear. I just can’t imagine having no partner in nurturing our kids so as much as possible I’d like him and myself to be healthy physically. Lastly, I appreciate a man who would value his journey with God by being humble and abiding to God’s presence always.

Godly man, family-oriented, financially stable, street-smart and values self-care is what I value the most for the man that I am looking for. I have presented this to God many times and plead Him several times. Now, I just have to wait and be patient with what He has for me. I am not giving God a catalog for Him to just choose on the plans I have set for myself to have, but I still trust His will. I’m just presenting to Him my idea and if He has something better, who am I to decline His Sovereignty in my life? If You allow, these are the things I want my partner to be, Lord. I won’t settle until You tell me it is time.