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Chain: Hold or leave it

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  My Father and Mother knew each other since they were child. They were best of friends; they both knew each other’s family. Papa was secretly in love with Mama. When Mama left to marry someone in 455 miles away from where Papa was, my Father flew to stop the marriage and told Mama of his love for her. They secretly got married instead. Papa went back to their hometown, Mama stayed since she has her business on where they got married. Mama helped Papa to finish college. After College they reunited again.   However, my Father’s family never liked my Mother. They don’t like her for their son and their brother. Growing up I saw how they emotionally hurt, scolded, blamed and degraded Mama. As a kid, I never understood how it feels like to always try to earn someone’s trust and see your worth from them. When we got older, Mama eventually got tired. Worst, when Papa died Mama does not want any more connection with them. However, she still shows respect to them in whichever way she can. Ado
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I Am Not Strong

Moment by moment I can't fathom how I am surviving the life of misery this year have brought me. Each day I am feeling exhausted of daily routines that can't see the end of turmoil. Hopes I am holding to are depleting and my hands are losing its grip. Every morning I ask the Lord, "Is this a dream? If it is, please wake me up because I am exhausted and might lose you soon." Several mornings have come and same questions are thrown, but I am still on the same situation I never wished I am. Where I am now is not the place I have never thought I will be. What I did and witnessed were the things I never imagined I can handle. How I live now is never what I have planned it to be.  Living in a huge building where most of the people you see wear almost same style of clothing each day, colors were - white, green and blue. This place has too many rooms consist of dying individuals and existing but not totally living people. Most people on this building sleeps and sits on the sa
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What if?

I don't know how to start  Words are scribbled into my mind Things I'd like to speak, I can't catch But I'd like you to know that I am scared;  Scared of the thoughts of making wrong decisions Decision that I perceive is right  Is this what God wants?  Is this the person God intends for me? Is this the life God plans for me?  What if not? What if I am wrong?  What if I am being biased?  God wants for me a man that can lead our children to Him,  More often, it feels like my man does not spend much time with God  God wants for me a man that can make me feel I am worth all the risk, fears and worries Forgive me, but it feels like my man is still unsure of me sometimes God wants for me a man that I can serve Him with  Pardon me, I have never heard my man said to be in service with the Lord  God wants for me a man that is sure of his salvation and will surely meet Jesus at the end of all Excuse me, but my man seems like not sure of his salvation and is barely fascinated of t
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Don't Love Her Yet

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She had her pains from the past that she does not want to go all over again with a different man. Things have molded her to be an independent woman she is today. All the disappointments she had made her stronger. She is tired of getting unrequited love from people around her. Her ears are done listening to everyone’s burden while her own is being neglected. She had her hopes high in every man she was interested in and entertained, but ended up getting tired of her and not trying to understand her. She has been in and out of her own prison cell inside her heart hiding herself in the world who does not want to go beyond extra miles for her. She is sick of being someone who would always lead people on the right path and tell them to do what is right, but no one stands to rebuke her or help her out in making decisions. She is a woman that does not want to confront what is wrong anymore, instead slam the door and walk away. She is too scared to hear someone’s defense and fall for it agai
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Life's Detours

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Once upon a time, there was me - with a little dreamer’s heart wrote and imagined a life I wanted. I planned out everything, because they said when you planned out things it is mostly gonna work out just fine. In contrast, if you have no plan, you plan to fail. I might have a lot of dreams and plans stuck in my head when I was growing up, I don’t think I know how to put them all in action. Execution of things I have in my mind is what I am terrible at. I have written several bucket lists, I am not even close in completing any of them and I am not certain to achieve any of them. I’ll start off with simple ones. I graduated with a Bachelor's Degree and everyone was expecting for me to work on the job I have studied for, I also expected for that to happen. Turns out, I had a different path to take. I worked in a job where there is no need for a Bachelor's Degree and went all the way to a position in the same company where college degree matters, but I am still not on the path
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You don't deserve to be someone's secret

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You are loved by so many people around you. You are valued by those people who care for you. You are worth dying for because 2,000 years ago Someone died for you. You are wonderfully made and worth every compliment you could have. You are a unique creature in every way. No one is like you. You are worth showing off. You are worth being proud of and present to everyone that you are their partner. Let the person you value see your worth and expose your worth to the world they have. When you get into a relationship, you are to take the risk to change your life 360 degrees. The people will see you differently based on the relationship status you have and you should act according to it. If the person is so into you and loves you dearly, he would want to be at the rooftop and talk about how precious you are into his life. True love is not silent, it will always pump what’s inside. Love will be evident on your partner’s actions and words whenever he is with his family and friends.  You
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If God allows, this is what I want 

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I have been contemplating these past few days. When I was younger I did not have a set of standards for my ideal man. If I fall, I'll fall. However, as I matured my perspective changed. I would always ask myself, "what type of a person do I really want to spend the rest of my life with?", ``What kind of a father I want for my future kids?" and "What nature of family would I like to have in the future?". Pondering on these questions I used to have, I came up with the set of standards I want to have in a man that I'd like to live with for the rest of my life. If God allows, this is what I want. First and foremost, I'd like my man to be godly. When I say Godly, it is not just a church-goer, but he himself is the church. I would like him to live according to God’s word. I am not looking for boyfriend material, but I long for husband material who would be our Spiritual Leader at home with our kids. I am looking for a ministry partner who would joyfull
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