Untold Life and Thoughts Revealed

  My Father and Mother knew each other since they were child. They were best of friends; they both knew each other’s family. Papa was secretly in love with Mama. When Mama left to marry someone in 455 miles away from where Papa was, my Father flew to stop the marriage and told Mama of his love for her. They secretly got married instead. Papa went back to their hometown, Mama stayed since she has her business on where they got married. Mama helped Papa to finish college. After College they reunited again.   However, my Father’s family never liked my Mother. They don’t like her for their son and their brother. Growing up I saw how they emotionally hurt, scolded, blamed and degraded Mama. As a kid, I never understood how it feels like to always try to earn someone’s trust and see your worth from them. When we got older, Mama eventually got tired. Worst, when Papa died Mama does not want any more connection with them. However, she still shows respect to them in whichever way she...

DUWAG NA PUSO. Nung pinakaunang makita kita, wala akong balak mapalapit sayo. You are like any other guys who I would just stare for a while, talk and throw some jokes at. I didn't know I captured your attention, which was not really my intention. Lumipas ang mga araw, dumating ako sa point na nakaramdam ng hindi maintindihan. Tila bang may humihila ng aking atensyon palapit sayo. You were maybe using the Law of Attraction towards me.  And it works perfectly, as if like I am drawn close to you for an unknown reason. One event came, it was in a party, you were drunk. I was a bit tipsy. I remember everything. Nagbitaw ka ng salitang hindi ko aakalaing iyong masasambit. Nabanggit mong ako'y napakabait at kung maaari lang ay nais mo akong maging syota. Ako'y nabigla. Walang salitang nasambit sa ilang segundo na iyon. Sa isip ko, dahil sa ikaw ay nasa ilalim ng epekto ng alak, hindi mo alam ang iyong sinasabi. Ngunit bilang isang babae, pansamantala kong pinaniwalaan a...

I don't want to feel this way, but this is what my hypothalamus feels. I want to be blind of what I am seeing so I won't see how people around me are happy, while myself doesn't even know how it feels like to be just purely happy anymore. I want to be deaf for a while so I won't hear their loud laugh and silly conversations that I can't even engage myself to. I want to be mute for a second so I will have an excuse not to speak for what is being asked that might open my heart and people will know how miserable I am inside. I want them to love me even if I am weird. I want them to talk to me even if I don't initiate the conversation. I want them to care for me even if I don't show them how sad I am inside. I want them to see me even if I would rather be in the corner listening how their conversations are going so well without me speaking. I want them to hug me even if I appear strong in front of the crowd. I want them to greet me even if I am walkin...

I am confused with the feeling I have but I just want to treasure every moment because it does really make me feel so happy. It activates all my happy hormones when talking to him. We have been chatting for more than 3 weeks now, I think. And it all started from a Contact Request in Skype. I was in doubt in accepting it because I didn't remember giving out my Skype ID to anyone. Before having any decision, I checked on his profile on Skype. He is from Canada, his profile has his full name, it has his birthday and seems legit and doesn't look like a scammer or what. I accepted it. Days, nights and weeks have passed, I didn't receive any message from him. I was thinking of deleting him from my contact list already in Skype because it doesn't make sense having him in my contacts and never message me. However, I am so curious, how and where he got my Skype ID so I messaged him... I said, "hey, you added me and never message me." And I said to myself, after 2 o...

I don't know where exactly to start. But I really want to write what I feel. I don't know what went wrong. But everything we had were gone. I can't remember how we started as friends. But why we became strangers again has stuck in my mind. I am not sure why saying hello is so hard now. But the eagerness of starting a conversation is within me. You were once my textmate. But now, I no longer get a message from you. You were once my friend that almost turns out to be my lover. But now, it looks like that we are no longer friends and will never be a lover. We used to let each other know what we are doing. But now we have no more idea what both of us are doing with our lives. You made me feel happy. But now, you are crushing my heart because you are nowhere to be found. Your existence was my happiness before. But now all I hope is to feel your presence again. I can't help it sometimes, but to go back to our conversations a year ago. But all it gives me is only sadn...

I was alone and then you came. I wasn't looking, but you found me. I wasn't sad nor happy, but you killed the loneliness I felt inside. You are there and I am here. We are far from each other, miles and miles away. We enjoy the talks we had. Sleepless nonsense conversations are fun for us. We sleep together in front of the screen. We sing each other a song. You dance in the camera and I watch. You do your thing and I do mine comfortably. We value each others silence. When I am home, I text you. When I woke up I am letting you know. We eat in front of the monitor. I was once your alarm clock when you have work and its my off. I will ring you to wake up. We laugh hard like we don't care how ugly we look like. I had been very sick and you never left. You've been very supportive. You text and ask If I am still alive in a funny way. You saw the worst in me when I was very sick. You saw how terrible I look with blisters. You saw me with and without sc...

Dear future boyfriend, I am getting old. No way for me to get younger. I know I am mature enough. So, I hope that you too, but you cannot take away from me my childish attitude, please have a lot of patience. If I am being too much let me know I will try my best not to be a burden to you. I can't promise that we won't have fights and misunderstandings, but I can promise that I can do the best that I can be to make our relationship work. I have been waiting for you for so long. I have reserved myself and my love for you even without meeting you yet. I hope it won't all go to waste. Future Boyfriend, I want you to be who you are. Just be silly, crazy, and be just comfortable with me. No secrets. I can be your diary, sister, mother or just simply your girl best friend. I don't want you to have vices as much as possible. I don't want you to drown yourself into different alcoholic drinks every night and I don't want you to cover yourself with lot of smoke and sme...

Hi future suitor, I am not sure why or what makes you like me at the first place. I know in myself I didn't do something that entice you but thank you for caring and loving me. I think I have high standards, so if you wanna give up as soon, it is up to you. Anyway, I will let you know as soon as possible if I am not interested. When you want to win my heart, I have some tips for you. 1. Please don't be stupid. I know in myself I am intelligent and I don't want my future boyfriend to be dull. I am sapiosexual, meaning I find intelligence as the sexiest and most attractive asset of a person. I easily get attracted to a person that is intelligent. I am more attracted to a person if he is more intelligent than me. Making me shut my mouth because he got a good reason that I cannot beat. 2. Please be comfortable if you are with me. Be crazy if you are. Be silly if you want. Be mad if you feel so. Fart if you need to. Be WHO YOU ARE! I don't like being around with the pe...